When the End is Just the Beginning

When something comes to an end, there's often sadness that comes along with it. This afternoon was the end of the first session of AZ School of the Supernatural. It feels a little weird, knowing it's over, but I'm excited because there's so much more ahead.

The past 12 weeks have been life changing. Yes, it's been a bit of a sacrifice to spend every Fri. evening & Sat. afteroon going to school - well, except for the two weekends we missed due to SOZO trainings. But the benefits outweigh the sacrifice.

Reflecting on the benefits:

• Lots of new friends
• Found an amazing new church (unplanned side benefit)
• Met some amazing revivalists from Bethel Church, or who came through Bethel, or who just plain like Bethel
• Got to house some of these people overnight in our home
• Got to host some of them lead meetings in our home while they were in town
• Had some fabulous soaking encounters. Worship just kept getting better and better. As I laid on the floor soaking this afternoon, I thought of how I love it when the worship leader just has to sit or stand up front and worship -- and we all do the same.
• Received some powerful activation from these risk takers
• Heard some thought provoking and motivating preaching
• Healed from dizziness -- still declaring that one as it keeps trying to come back (not gonna lie to ya about that. 2 Facts: #1 I was healed. #2 It keeps trying to come back.)
• Laughed, laughed and laughed some more
• Fun fire tunnels
• Felt His Presence - and there's NEVER a substitution for that

Reflecting on the sacrifices:

• On second thought, there really isn't anything important enough to list

Look out Arizona -- ASSM has only just begun. Along with other amazing and powerful revivalists from various streams, Arizona is getting rocked!!!

Waiting for the summer session to begin in just three weeks!!

May 26, 2012

I've learned that grandchildren grow up. They grow up really fast. Much faster than their parents (APoG - Adult Parent of a Grandchild) did. Once a grandchild is born, there is some sort of time warp that goes into effect, and from then on, it's like a blur before your eyes.

Today our oldest grandchild, Justin, turned 15 years and 6 months old - and we all know what that age means in many states of the U.S. - driver's permit. It that wasn't enough, our second oldest grandson, Zach, went off to church camp this morning - alone.

Whoever decided that a child was ready to be in control of a 4000lb metal - ok, plastic - object, that can travel down a completely loaded 6-lane highway at 65mph. It obviously was not a grandparent. But his APoG's seem to think it's OK that he get his driving permit now. Well, not right now, because it's Saturday - of a 3-day weekend -- days that DMV are closed -- hee hee. So I say, as long as he has to wait until Tuesday morning, three whole days, he may as well just wait until he's.. oh, say voting age  -- or maybe 35.

Camp! What APoG sends a little boy who isn't even 9 years old yet off to camp, 100 miles away! Why, are there even any adults along -- I mean real adults, say over 30 for instance. Do those counselors even know how to take care of kids, and know what it means to insure their safety? What if they're on their cell phones or have an iPod in their ears, and forget there are kids there to watch? Did anyone check that bus driver's credentials?

God has such a sense of humor, to put these two big events on the same date. He must think I'm strong to endure such trepidation. He must know how much I trust Him. I can just see Him now, leaning back on His big throne, a smile on His face, His arms crossed across His chest, nodding His head... 'Yep, there's my favorite daughter, trusting me again. She's got it! And I've got those boys.'

Driving means freedom. I can still remember how good it felt, maybe a little surreal. My first drive alone was to church. I just remembered that. That has an interesting meaning to me today - almost 43 years later.

Camp - The time of my life! I could have lived at camp and been perfectly content -- well, except for the creepy showers they always had. Between ages 8 and 19, I only  missed camp once, the year our family came to Arizona on vacation when I was 11. Camp was so fun, so free. God always met us there - ALWAYS. When we lived in Illinois, He was always there at the camps in Wisconsin. Then when we moved to Arizona, He was always there up in Williams.

Those APoG's I mentioned earlier started going to camp when they were 8 too. They loved it like I did. They also started driving as teenagers. They liked that too.

Papa God and I are just smiling at each other right now -- you'll have to excuse us for a moment.

LOL With God

I went to my first Vestibular Therapy (vertigo) appointment this morning -- which had been delayed for close to a month now for one reason or the other. For instance, I had a hair appointment (first things first), the physical therapy place directed me to the wrong office, where they don't do VT, my appointment there 'vanished' from their records, they didn't have the Rx from the ENT. But I finally got there - this morning. I was told Elaine would be working on me, and she was great.

But when I got there this morning, I met with a male therapist. Wait... they said Elaine was great, what if this guy isn't great. What if he isn't even good. This isn't just a few leg raises and 10 minutes on the bicycle. This is where they twist your head around and make your eyes roll around in their sockets. Elaine knows what she's doing.

He tells me he's going to assess my vertigo before I start on the regular PT (the stuff I've been doing at the other office for my low back and hip pain). He's going to assess me?? I was counting on Elaine doing that - because she's good! I tell him I've had it for about 10 years, that it went away about a year or so ago, but then it came back last fall when I went to a conference and after I did some brain exercise thingy hanging my head over the side of the bed.... BUT, let me add one more thing Mr. Physical Therapist Guy, ummm, well, almost two weeks ago you see, I was healed - I believe in that. Now I was waiting for his eyes to roll around in his head. They didn't; he just said, "OK". I go on, so see, I can look up now (see, watch me). I couldn't do that before two weeks ago. He asked if I had any symptoms now. I told him I hadn't for about a week and a half, but then a few days ago a few of them started to come back, but I've been saying, "No!", and it's still way better than it was. I told him, spiritually I didn't understand that, but...

When I finished my hip/back exercises, Mr. PT Guy comes back and he tells me to stand up. He says though I was healed, he can see by the way I hold myself that it is causing the vertigo that remains by putting stress on my back, neck and head -- or something like that. He told me to sit in a chair and he began to work on my neck. He said he's been doing this for 25 years. I wondered if that was more than Elaine had been doing it.

While he was working on my neck, we talked a little. He hangs out at some of the same places I hang out, and listens to some of the same people I listen to. He talked about blending faith and physical therapy. He talked about PT's putting their hands on their patients being rare these days. I laughed a little - out loud - even though nothing was funny. I'm going back tomorrow.

I have to laugh out loud when I think about God and the stuff He does. A few delays in scheduling, a healing, and a physical therapist helping out for a couple of weeks. I am so crazy about you Daddy God!!! Thank you again.     ----Your favorite, Connie

Blue Like Jazz

We've been waiting for this movie to come out. Waiting... wondering... waiting... Today it arrived, in all its fanfare, at the theaters. We wanted to go not only on opening weekend, but on opening night. Would you believe a class we're in got out early and we made it to the 9:45pm showing. Just one of those little gifts.

Don Miller, thanks for your bravery for giving your thumbs up on this movie - oh, and for writing the book. It speaks volumes. Well worth the wait, the price, the late night, and the restless legs I experienced throughout. The only thing that would have made it better, was if I had been in my beloved Portland for it.

I'm spreading the word -- telling everybody I know (including the guy at the box office) -- & babysitting my grand kids tomorrow so their parents can go.

Oh, and this is the first time mine and Dave's name has been on the big screen. Well, and prob'ly the last too.

REFLECTION 2009 - Part II - The Testimony

As I was waking up this past Sunday morning, I had one of those 2-second dreams. You know the ones where you fall asleep for 2 seconds and you have a mini-dream. I heard that Abraham Lincoln was giving me something, and then I saw a large old-fashioned antique gold key. That's it. That's my dream.


Abraham Lincoln represents freedom. A key can represent authority. Have I been given authority to administer freedom. As I think about this, I'm so acutely aware of the freedom that has been given to me. I would be remiss if I didn't let my freedom be a testimony to others' freedom.


It's been two years since my last blog. I didn't intend on that much time passing, but it did, and here I am again. If you look at my last blog, about my 2009 sudden illness and hospitalization, you might wonder why I'm revisiting that topic now in 2012. But you see, it wasn't that simple. It wasn't that irrelevant - at least not to me.


What you may not know is that I had been bound in fear for 30 years. Fear of going to a doctor. Fear of flying. I hadn't flown for about 20 years, and had become quite adept at manipulating situations to avoid it. My sweet husband had to endure my fear because it kept us from going places. Other than absolutely necessary doctor visits, like the eye doctor because I needed to be able to see, a tubal ligation prior to our marriage in 1989, a bladder infection or a sinus infection, I had not gone for 30 YEARS. I did not want anyone probing around or in my body, for fear of what they might find. Fear there was something terminally wrong with me. I remember when that hook got stuck in me 30 years earlier, I just don't know how. But I lived with it embedded deep inside, because it was safe that way. I stayed on the ground, not going places because it was safe that way. At least those are the lies I believed.


But on Friday morning, March 27, 2009, things changed. The pain in my abdomen reached a severity that forced me to an emergency room. Over the next few days I was aware several times of the fear I had lived with, as I was put through various medical tests and wheeled into operating rooms. I remember thinking many times, "It is what it is." I will never forget those words. But something was different now. I had no fear! It was replaced with an incredible amount of love and gratitude for those around me. Follow-up doctor visits continued through the spring, and on into the summer and fall I saw my doctor regularly due to having been diagnosed with Type II diabetes.


In October of that year my sister in Illinois was getting married. This was a big event, and I wanted to honor her by attending it. I told Dave I wanted to go. He was naturally in agreement, and plans were made. As the plane lifted off the runway at Sky Harbor in Phoenix, I began to thank God for the freedom, and then out the left side of the airplane, in the sky I saw with my spiritual eyes several cherubic angels with big smiles on their faces, clapping their hands.


Due to our long-time doctor no longer being on our insurance, I had changed to a different primary care doctor during this time. On my first visit to the new doc, he had a student working with him, and asked if I minded if the student did the medical questionnaire piece. When the doctor came back in, he commented on how very thorough the student had been - no doubt God had set me up. The student had inquired as to every test I had or hadn't had in the last... well, 30 years. That was easy - none. That was about to change. Bone density, pap smear, mammogram, heart and carotid ultrasounds, and colonoscopy. I remember when he asked if I would be willing to have a colonoscopy, I had a second to answer 'yes' or 'no'. I chose yes. I chose it because to choose no meant I would give way to fear - and I refused to do that. I refused to crack that door open even just a little. Freedom had become too precious to me. Earlier I had been referred to a podiatrist for an annual diabetes check, and a dermatologist due to hair loss from the illness. She eventually offered to remove skin tags - yes! Chiropractor, who ordered x-rays. I had many of the tests repeated a year later, and again just this month. Three years - three series of WELL CHECKS! Yes, I said well checks.


We have flown to northern California twice, Oregon twice, Texas, Illinois twice, Baltimore, Washington DC, Indiana, and are flying to southern California tomorrow.


So if you hear me reflect back on this date or this event, it's not about being sick. It's about being free! I will never, ever, ever forget it. Never! While writing this, I had to stop several times as tears filled my eyes, and say, "Thank You, Jesus!" For those who have never walked in it, you may not understand; but for those of you who have, or who still do ~ I think you will. Don't give up hope. Freedom is yours just like it's mine.